Morning Dew

Canna stared at the dew drops on top of the grass by his feet. It was a clear and cold morning and everything was silent around him. The city was still asleep. He was sitting on the main staircase that led to the palace, waiting for the others to come. Unable to sleep for a great part of the night, he decided to wait outside, to clear up his thoughts with the morning air. He passed his hand through the grass, softly. It was cold.

He had so many doubts for the past weeks. He wanted to help as much as the others, but it was scary to look ahead and think of what was coming. Orris had been quite restless too. She had more reasons than anyone else to be. Even more than him. He let the drops wet his hands, the cold feeling was keeping him present. Barely.

He had the sudden feeling that someone was watching him and turned around to find Aspen, standing some steps above him. For how long he had been there Canna didn’t know, but he felt embarrassed by it. He passed the back of his hand through his eyes, to clean the tears that had been falling down since he sat there.

— Good morning.

Aspen's only answer was coming down the stairs to his level, staring at him in silence. He was carrying his bow and was dressed in his red bird suit, but his mask was down, making his face still visible. He looked tired.

— Good morning — He said finally — May I join you?

Canna looked up at him and nodded, not taking his eyes of him while he sat down by his side. For the first time, he could see Aspen's true age on his face, those lines that couldn’t lie. He was observing the landscape, quick-eyed. Silence fell between them. On the contrary, the city seemed to be waking up; there was smoke coming from the chimneys and the sweet voice of bird kids playing down the street, at the other side of the wall that separated it from the palace.

— It's scary — Aspen said — To think about the path awaiting us.

He didn’t have enough strength to answer, but he thought the same. He would tell his feelings if he could. He would shout. Scream them. Aspen was right, he was scared, and that made him feel paralyzed.

— I am scared too — Aspen said, looking down at him. His face didn’t have the stoic expression Canna was so used to seeing. He was smiling, but he looked sad too.

— Really?

— Yes.

Canna fixed his eyes on him. He wasn't lying. He, too, had so much to lose if they failed. How could he not be scared? Not even age could bury that feeling deep down. That emptiness on the stomach. Yet his head was so loud. The same words kept repeating, once and again. Aspen’s voice carried him back to the present.

— I've been trained to fight since I was young but... there's nothing else I fear more. I was trained to protect those I love, yet I wish such times never had to come. That they didn't need protection. That everything was alright.

He took a deep breath, looking in the distance, to the snowy peaks surrounding the city.

— We have hard times ahead, and I am, too, scared of the outcome. It's normal to be scared. You're alive.

He didn’t answer and Aspen fell silent again. He looked down, at his hands touching the cold, rough grass. His heart was pounding fast, he could feel it against his chest. There were so many things he wanted to ask, but only one came out of his lips.

— What do you do? — He asked, looking at the dew running through his fingers — When you're scared.

— There isn't much you can do — He said, let out a sigh and turned to look at him — Not much but knowing that you're not alone in this. I don't know if it's comforting for you, or for the princess... But you've got people on your back. You've all been here for some weeks now. I've seen you. Your friends love you and I have no doubt that they'll do whatever it takes to help you, however difficult the task might be. I'm sitting here for the same reason… Even if I'm scared.

Canna stared at him. Fighting against the tears was a hard enough task, so he didn’t try to speak again.

— The world might seem an unjust place and you'll feel scared, but knowing there's someone there to walk with you... that makes me feel better.

Aspen turned back to the landscape, he seemed to be lost in his own world. Canna felt a lump on his throat. He needed some seconds to breathe in and gather himself enough to speak, but his voice came out as a rough whisper.

— Will you make sure that they'll... that... that we will come back safe? - He looked at Aspen, piercing gaze, waiting.

— I'll do everything possible to ensure that.

That was enough for him. Not being able to contain the tears anymore, he started crying, turning away from Aspen. He was scared for himself and what the task they had ahead might turn into, but he was even more scared of what the others might have to go through because of him. He was scared of seeing their friends hurt, even more. To see everything they were fighting for crumble. To lose that feeling of comfort, of belonging, of being home…

He covered his face with his hands, but they were cold and wet from the dew. Only now he realized what a dull morning it was. Aspen came closer to him and passed his feathered arm above his shoulders. The feathers were warm and soft in contrast with the air.

— You know — Aspen said after some minutes — You really should find warmer clothes.

Canna let out a soft giggle, covered by the tears and sniffed softly. After passing his hand through his eyes, to clean them, he looked up. Aspen seemed a very different person now that he looked closer at him, or the person he always was but they couldn't see. He wanted to ask him more, but the sound of steps coming downstairs interrupted his thoughts.

— What a beautiful morning for this parent-child scene.

Orris went down the steps with her usual confidence, not even looking down. She was wearing a big coat on top of her clothes and her nose was pink from the cold, the staff in one hand. They both turned to look at her as she stepped on the grass. She didn’t seem to care about the dew on her now wet shoes.

— Want a hug too? — Aspen asked, back to his usual annoyed expression, opening his other arm — I'm on sales today.

— I'm good, thanks — She stood in front of them, arms crossed and looked around — Where's that damned frog?